19 September 2010

Endings.

Usually, fairy tales have happy endings. "How can it be HAPPY, when it is already the END?" said the quote. Just wanna share this. I felt really sad and disappointed after the SPORTS FESTIVAL (see the post below for more details.) Why? Cause' my precious camera was misplaced or SOMETHING. I know i really have the tendency to lose or break things, but not on materials which I love and treasure. Photos and pictures are my life, I plan to be a photographer someday. All of these are found in my camera. I don't like to scatter every detail of the story how it vanished. It's just... that i'm really into that camera and I'll break if that camera disappears. But then again, it did.

My whole world crashed when I heard the news. I was like SH*T! All I can think about is how my mother will react. She'll be mad as a cow! Materialism aside, but this camera is not JUST a camera. It's more of a token of trust from my mother to me. And I held that trust for a long while. Then all of the sudden, out of the blue, mysteriously it disappeared. I know I am a careless, immature, clumsy being form earth! I accepted that a whole lot of time ago. It's just soooo hard. I thought about not telling my mom, but FAMILY DAY is tomorrow! SO WHAT SHALL I DO! I can't cry hard enough! (sounds familiar?) And even if I cry millions of tears it won't produce that same camera. So with courage and a little faith I told my mom. AND THE REST IS HISTORY.

What really bothers me is, if the camera is really lost. Or someone took it. A big Mystery for me. I can't think.   Many conclusions form other's mouth scatters. I can't even pick one to side on! HAHA! I was pressured and tense. I can't breathe for a second and I thought of killing someone just to produce the same material! I was wrong. I talk to my mom, (actually my sister did. I was too scared. . .  :D) She let my mom's temper cooled down, then I sat at our living room and every word my mother spoke pierced like iron knives through my chest (figurative much?) I accepted the truth. Accept. Still I am sad. I can't lose the memories of that camera. PLUS It contains the pictures of my last intra murals!

So who-ever or what-ever took it. Please return it to me, it means so much to me. Please. IT's not that I am blaming, but I'm desperate. DEAL with it. I was too happy playing and having a good time. Careless, clumsy, clueless, stupid, immature. BUT I still have SOMETHING. It's called HOPE, FAITH and a LITTLE TRUST. PLEASE. I can't stop hallucinating about it. :'(


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